Appreciating Your Pastor Pt.2: Honest Talk about Pastoral Challenges
Pastors and Mental Health
By far and away the biggest issue that puts church leaders out of ministry altogether is poor mental health. A piece of research by Lifeway in 2022 said over 1 in 4 pastors had struggled with some sort of mental health issue. This number is almost identical to their 2014 research. Clearly, stress, anxiety and depressive illnesses are prevalent in the pastorate. Clifford Pond notes:
Elders, especially preaching elders, are always in the public eye and this puts them under pressure. Their family also has the same problem and the elder has the responsibility of caring for his family as well as coping with himself. Then there is the effect of knowing the high expectations people have of their elders both in their conduct and in their ministry. This is especially the case if members have in their minds the example of an outstanding man known to them. A sense of high calling and commitment leads elders to a very full-time occupation… conscience is a hard taskmaster and elders sometimes allow themselves to feel that an evening at home or a day out with the family is a dereliction of duty.
The Loneliness of Pastoral Ministry
Beyond these things, eldership can feel lonely. Many pastors and their families feel isolated. Other church members have the freedom to say ‘no’ to duties in the church, but paid staff members do not usually feel able to do the same. Church leaders can be lightning rods for criticism. Sometimes they receive personal and hurtful comments about the effectiveness of their ministry, their suitability, decisions they have taken, which can be unwarranted or outright unkind. Some of these things may even spill over into comments about their family. It can feel as though the minister and his family are fair game and nothing can be said in response. It can, at times, feel as though one’s livelihood hangs in the balance any time someone takes against you or dislikes the direction the church is taking. All of these things are undoubtedly stressful. People can forget that full-time ministers and their families are just like everyone else: if you cut them – they bleed.
Alongside all these things, there are various other pressures. Many cite financial worries, high expectations and the fact that ministry success is not easily quantifiable (even if it were, it isn’t appropriate to judge ministry success by number of converts or baptisms at any rate!) The temptation to envy other’s ministries and compare theirs with ours is ever present. There is the call to higher moral standards, the stakes that go with it and the sense that all eyes are continually watching. All of this can cause real anxiety.
The Advantage of Plural Eldership
As we have said already, one of the advantages of plural eldership is that other church leaders should be able to empathise and take some of this strain. At a minimum, elders should be encouraging full-time church leaders to build proper rest into their weekly routines. The guilt of taking time off can be mitigated by other elders not only encouraging rest but actively offering – and showing they are more than happy – to take on what necessarily must drop if the full-time worker is to take a break.
Alongside this, where elders see that another is struggling – or that is the direction in which an elder is heading – being willing to step in and make concrete suggestions is key. Sometimes full-time workers need permission to say ‘no’ to things, or even to step back for a time. It is important for all the elders to be looking out for each other in this way and giving one another permission to step back where required. Sometimes offering a sabbatical may be in order, so that the full-time worker can have an extended break and recuperate from the stresses of ministry.
A Culture of Openness
Creating a culture of openness on the eldership is also important. Elderships need to be places where each man can share their struggles openly without fear of judgement or a sense that their job will be on the line because of physical or mental imperfection, or dare I say – even because of sin. Elders need to cultivate trust with one another, that they are men who can be relied on rather than feared; and it must be clear that where struggles and strains are raised, help will be forthcoming. Nothing will induce stress and anxiety more than fearing how your elders will react when you are already under strain. None of this, of course, is an excuse for sin. Sin must be addressed and repented of. But we shouldn’t expect perfection from our elders, who are – like every other believer – sinners saved by grace.
This material is excerpted from Stephen Kneale’s book, Independent Eldership, the first part of our A People on Purpose series. Stephen serves as Director of Partnerships & Mobilisations for Medhurst Ministries. Prior to this, he spent over twelve years as the pastor of Oldham Bethel Church.
